uh.
oh well.
Thursday, May 22, 2012
My brain hurts. We had to do another issue dreakdown including the fact we found yesterday and I missed most of it because I had Numerical Method – eventhough I ask for permission to leave class early. Somehow they chose gender roles and we had to come up with a solution which will directly tackel that. Halfway through our discussion I realize that I know almost nothing about this program – especially about what we will actually make. Not too mention that I know nothing about how gender roles work in a household in which the wife is not working – we only had interviews with GO and NGOs. So I just stayed silent, trying so hard even just to follow the conversation. Almost no time left for making the poster because the discussion take so long, so we just settle with talking and some last-minute cretivity. Got a 4 for creativity – which I’m okay with. At least we came up with something.
Figure out I’ll transfer all my global corps related journal entry here since those are emotion-free. Besides a person can only reblog for so long before feeling like a loser because she never write anything on her own blog.
Saturday, May 20, 2012
8.03 pm
I am participating in this program called Global Corps 2012. Basically 32 students from Northeastern University, Boston, come to our university and are partnered with us to tackle social problems in Singaraja. It was already started at Wednesday, I’m just too lazy to write it. In fact, if I don’t have to practice my English for this I’ll probably never start writing again.
Oh well.
Undiksha sends 2 or 3 students from each department, and from Math are me and Ratih. From day 1, seeing all those strangers, all I feel was this overwhelming sense of being inferior. I mean, it’s probably going to be okay for the guys from English dept, but we only got English courses at our first and second semester, which we would already forget by the time we entered out third semester. That what would happen if you give students courses that is not related in any way with their major. I would sweat blood for Numerical Method but for English I’d just like … meh. Language is one thing; there are also other things like being scared to be underestimated because I come from “third world country”, being scared to not knowing things as much as they do … well basically I scared of lots of things, and to think about it it’s really embarrassing. But the program was held in MIPA seminar room so at the very least the place is already familiar for me.
Day 1 was introduction. Turns out not all of them are Americans; some of them are students from other nationality who study in the US. At lunch I learned that this is pretty much a course that they take outside of classroom; kind of like our KKN. But they do it outside of their country; they get to travel and being on vacation which is so much cooler than us. Most of them are majoring in International Affair. And they were really, really nice.
Prof. Denise Horn (the teacher) gave us short introductory lecture about social problems; she made us list the problems that we know of, EVERY problem we know; from poverty, deforestation, drugs, child trafficking … to lack of high-speed internet connection (I’ll kiss anyone who made this into the list). The conclusion? That all of them are man-made. Then we separated them into several major categories. Every category will have a student that become a host to held a conversation about said category as topic, and we all can go to the topic that we were interested about. Because me and Ratih were scared like puppies we did anything together, including go to the same host. Why I let her drag me to lack of education instead of me dragging her into gender inequality, that I still don’t understand.
I didn’t know much about lack of education and I am pretty sure the guys from NU didn’t understand a single thing I was trying to say, but they were really patient and nice. Even so far by calling my English perfect. That really did wonder to my confidence.
At night we had welcome dinner, welcome speeches from a few people and songs from a few singers – very, very talented singers. We also got split into groups – groups that we will be in for the rest of the program. I’m in the same group as Ratih, together with Biology students Adi and Madu, and Northeastern student, Sarah, Sara and Katie.
Day 2. Prof. Horn started the class by doing an example of issue breakdown; I forget what it was but I remember it involved cellphones. That was my first clear insight into what classes in the US are like, and I am definitely impressed. Very impressed. Prof. Horn is a real excellent teacher; she definitely can teach and know hot to get us involved. But Sara told me that she is her favorite, so maybe its just because she is the best one. Maybe classes can be boring and tedious too in the US. But still, the sad fact is even our best one is not as good as Prof. Horn.
Day 3. We went to Sudaji for crematorial ceremony. That was my first time going to a Ngaben ceremony as a visitor, not as participant, and that was definitely super weird. Visitor are supposed to not knowing anything about it and ask around, but I spent my time criticizing everything and compared it to how people do Ngaben in my hometown. When we arrived we were welcomed in this place, I think its some kind of ashram, with an open room to do yoga and a pond in the yard. It was right on top of a cliff where there was a clear view of paddyfield and trees. It was really pretty and sleepy-making.
Day 4. We had lecture about social enterprise (my first full English lecture after Prof. Don Faust), and then after lunch we did our first field research. We were given an assignment to find out about social enterprises around us and what issues are they work on, and also, what we didn’t find and what it tell us. We went to Kosala Bali, a foundation that work in HIV AIDS (after running against the wall with Sukma Helen Flavel Foundation – which is, funnily, located near Wati’s house). Mr. Sudrana, the founder, is a kind mand which I guess in his late 50. He welcomed us with some of his staff in this almost run down house in a small village near Lovina. He said that he’s inspired to do this by the death of his infected son-in-law, who in turn infected his wife.
Turn out Kosala Bali also has natural fertilizer packaging bussines on the side which makes it hybrid model social enterprise. He invited us to visit his farm and to reach it we had to go much, much deeper into the village. It was really poor village. Because it’s located quite far from the main street of Lovina not many people know about it. If I didn’t do this I’d probably never know there’s such a village in Lovina, which I consider one of the most developed part of Singraja. I mean if I find such village in Tejakula or Gerokgak I probably won’t be surprised. But this is Buleleng; Lovina nonetheless.
We went for dinner afterward, at Warungku. Then we gave Sara, Sarah and Katie a ride to the dorm and went home. I only had one day off so I didn’t go home and settle with doing laundry instead.
Friday, May 23, 2012
9.32 pm
No project related stuff today, practically the most relaxed day ever. We even had lunch and got off early. After ice breaker we all sat in a big circle and talked about things that we notice and stereotype that we heard about each other – American and Balinese, I mean. I couldn’t understand the point of this until Prof. Horn said, surprisingly no one says that Americans are fat, obese, ignorant, stupid … or something similar to that and I went oh. Oh.
9Gag posts automatically flashed before my eyes.
At the end of the class we hugged. 60-something students from different nationalities sang I Will Always Love You together in Seminar MIPA today. Rare sight.
Wednesday, May 21, 2012
10.17 pm
At Monday we gave presentation about the social enterprise we found at Saturday. Basically all the group were the same; they got nothing on the internet and had to rely heavily on personal contact. After lunch we worked in group and each of us had to came up with three problems that concern us the most. Then we decided the problem that we are going to work on. My group chose HIV AIDS.
Some of Ganesha students didn’t come, so we were few men down. That included Ratih, and somehow when we went home at 5 nope, this made me think ‘gosh, i really really miss home. Maybe I should skip tomorrow too.” And because I’m a stubborn 5 years old that can’t forget anything once it has been set into my mind for more than 10 minutes, I went home eventhough it’s already 7 pm. Almost murdered by Dad (don’t you know how dangerous road can be at this time of the night?! ).
Today is practically the most tiring of all. We had our second field research and I have been on the road with Sarah since 9 am, with no way to connect the others because my phone is dead and I left my charger at home. We were supposed to look for some information at the department of health, but even when I took the first look at the recognition letter, I knew we’re not gonna make it. Hello, this is Indonesian birocracy, ladies and gentlemen. First we were rejected at Dept of Health; they said we have to go to KESBANG first. Only after our letter is processed by KesBang and they give us permission that we can proceed. At KESBANG we were rejected again because our letter is formatted wrong and we have to bring the proposal so they know what we’re gonna use the data for. The middle-aged man and woman that we met with were so arrogant. In what semester are you? Eighth? Aren’t you supposed to already know the procedure to ask information from an institution by now? I know it, bitch. I just didn’t know that this is supposed to be as complicated as looking for data for my major paper. We just wanted to ask some question. To make everything worse when we were about to leave I got flat tire, which can’t be patched again by the way so I have to buy a new one. Can’t believe it, just came from home the day before and I’m already broke.
We went to Indomarets, Alfamarts and a few drugstore around Singaraja afterward to do some interview. I know Indomaret sells condoms but that was the first time I truly looked at it. It was so weird; I tried to act like a grown-up but can’t help gigling like a kid all the time. I didn’t know there are so many varieties of condom before. When I told Sarah this she just laughed and tell me, In US we had a whole aisle just for this.
(o.0) What else do they have then – fettucine alfredo flavored condoms?
This also made me realize that there is quite a gap in our sexual knowledge between us and the Northeastern girls. They know so much and we know so little, eventhough most of them are younger than us. And the sad fact is that it’s actually considered something to be proud of to know nothing about sex. Girls will say I don’t even know what condom packs look like! with a proud face. I know virginity is important but you can be a virgin without being stupid, you know.
At an Alfamart we found a fading AIDS campaign sticker complete with the institute and the address. We dialed it and the guy on the other end said we can come, especially that the head of the institute is at the office at the moment. He was very welcoming, which was very nice after getting our hopes crushed at KESBANG. We asked some question, or rather Sarah asked, I translated, he answered and I translated again. Sometime he talked too much and out of topic that I just stared at him, turned to Sarah and regretfully gave her the summarized version. Never in my lfie I had to use so much English and in a so demanding circumtances. You can almost heard my brain cracking from all the English over-usage.
I learned so many shocking facts during this research. That kids as young as highschoolers also buy condoms (while their girlfriends waiting outside!, the lady who sell them told us), that even married people looks uncomfortable buying it and, note this, that half of the AIDS infected people in Singaraja are housewives. Not sex workers, not gays, but housewives. Why? Because they had to stay at home while their husband going outside doing God knows what, including having sex with sex workers or having an extramarital affair, and then come home with the virus and the wives would be oblivious to it, being a good, never-protesting, forever-nodding and no-money-making Balinese wife as they are. Mostly husbands who work as laborer or construction worker and got a job outside of the city. The husbands who got tested even asked to keep the fact that they are infected a secret to their wives. Ratih and me were practically seething. Bali is better than most part of the world in term of gender equality, but I’m one of those girls who got disadvantaged by lots of gender related things her whole life, fed up with it, and things like this just make me want to spit on this oh-so-beautiful land, pack my bag and live in Iceland or somewhere.
Things that I find it cute/weird about the Northeastern guys:
1. Most of them are surprisingly fascinated with simple foods, like fried rice. I always thought it would be like roast pig or lawar. But no, it’s fried rice.
2. Bali belly! Apparently they’re prone to upset stomach after eating Balinese food, they even got a name for it.
3. They have very low defense against spicy foods. There was this one guy who had to throw away his rice because he put too many sambal on it and he didn’t realize it was too spicy. It was catering sambal – it was made to fit everyone taste so the spiciness rate is basically the lowest. I don’t want to think what will happen if I give them my mom’s Pepes – it would kill them, maybe.
But on the contrary, their daily food really depends on milk, butter, cream, cheese - soft foods that I consider have no taste because of my Balinese stomach and makes me feel nauseous. I never eat birthday cake without feeling like throwing up. Oh, clash of culture. Always makes me giggle.
4. They hate walking. I thought New Yorkers love walking.
5. We have our class in MIPA Seminar room which is always air conditioned, and they still feel hot. In the morning. I’m shivering even with blazer on.
6. Somehow I got the feeling that they think we know nothing about English or popular culture. Almost like a bunch of scientist approaching tribe people. We have internet access here too you know. I know who Beyonce is.
7. Their attitude in class are so relaxed. One girl have her feet up a chair while asking question. We can take foods and beverage to class. This is one of the most enviable things about them. Wanna trade Prof. Horn with my wonderful Advanced Calculus professor? Please?
8. Sara asked all of us to get drunk one day. I was like (o.0)
9. They love sun. But this is obvious so blah.
10. They look so much older than us. One of my group member, Katie, is 18 years old. I thought she is at least the same age as me.
11. Most of them are bilingual and have been traveled a lot. I don’t know if it’s related to their major (they are all International Affair major – they probably suck at math haha) but I think its cool that it’s something that is not brow-raising to them. That its normal to be fascinated by other culture and to learn a language just because you’re interested. Tell a Balinese girl to learn a language without getting graded for it. Tell them that there are parts of the world that are not Bali. I dare you, I double dare you.
12. Their eye color.
13. They’re so affectionate. Hugs and I love yous are thrown around.
FACEBOOK DRAMAQUEEN
It’s Facebook. It’s called a social networking site for a fucking reason - because it’s created to be one. Don’t like how it is? Then don’t read anything - nobody forces you too. Remove whoever you want. Or just get the fuck out.
Stop complaining from your oh-so-fucking-high horse like you are so fucking different, smart and special. IF YOU ARE REALLY “DIFFERENT”, YOU WON’T SPEND EVERY SINGLE MOMENT MAKING SURE THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU ARE.
I’m sorry that your ass-kicking self has to slum it down with the like of us there - which is, of course, not as mighty as you - but that just the way it is. You should have known it from the beginning. Still not satisfied? Then make your own social networking site and name it mukanenekgue.com or something. Then you can fill it with as much as high-quality statuses as you can. Then you can start adding and confirming people for no reason, having 1000-ish friends for no reason again. Your news feed will be full of shit, again. And then you can complain again! you know, like you’re the victim. Smart different awesome girl/guy whose eyes are bleeding because they HAVE TO read every single garbage on their news feed. WHILE THEY CAN JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.
Goddammit. I wish all those people would just disappear. I like the ababiler way more than them.
